You may or may not have heard, seen, or read about Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron, which was released May 1. The Marvel Universe is our favorite and Black Widow is amazing. After last month’s scandal, I decided to learn more about our heroine. I don’t think any harm was meant by the joke; it even fits her character. Blame Marvel. If however, you are one of the many people who are still offended, then, face it; Captain America is probably still a virgin. There, now we have discussed the sexuality of a man and a woman. (Both Evans and Renner later gave apologies.)
The question that should have been asked, though, is why has Marvel not made any movies or shows specifically about Black Widow yet? She’s amazing and possibly the coolest female superhero. She’s been in 4 of the biggest action movies, she has saved a whole lot of asses. Can she get a movie or show now, please? (If we are taking my recommendation seriously, then I would like another Netflix show. Nat has a lot of ground to cover.)
Natalia Romanova has several AKAs: Black Widow is her most famous moniker. She is also referred to as Natasha Romanoff, Nadine Roman, Black Pearl, Czarina, and others. Basically, she’s such a badass that she has had to have several identities. She was born in Stalingrad in 1928 and became an orphan while she was still a child. Nat was taken in by Ivan, a Soviet soldier, who tried to look after and keep her safe. By the late 1930’s the Soviet government had taken notice of Natalia and wanted her to work for their Intelligence, which is where she was first trained. Some areas she trained extensively included: Spy, sniper, and martial artist. Sometime after WWII, she was recruited into the Black Widow Program. She was trained by The Winter Soldier to be an elite agent. She had to have a cover for this op though, so she was a ballerina. That’s right, a ballerina. She also didn’t have a costume in the beginning. She just wore cocktail dresses to carry out her missions. Natalia also had an arranged marriage with Alexi Shostakov a pilot whom she grew to love. The government “killed” him, though. This caused her much grief, which fueled her to continue her training with the Red Room Academy, ultimately becoming Black Widow.
Black Widow has worked for both sides, good and bad. Her allegiances were never completely clear, though. She worked for the Russian government, but once saved Wolverine from HYDRA (payback for saving her when she was younger), showing that she was not an actual villain. She was taught to use her sexuality to get her missions accomplished, by the way. Don’t worry, the Russian government also made sure she was infertile. After her government tried to brainwash her for the second time, she defected. Can we just take a moment here? Black Widow was not going to stick around after the second time. Thank you. A smart, tough woman who needs her own show, I say again. So, now going by Natasha Romanoff, she began working for S.H.I.E.L.D. splitting her time between Nick Fury and the other Avengers.
Black Widow has worked with S.H.I.E.L.D., the other Avengers, Wolverine, Daredevil, Hawkeye, Fantastic 4, and many others. She ultimately chooses herself, though. I appreciate this. In a world full of men and men with power, she relies on herself. She does not easily trust, but I don’t think this is a fault considering her past. She has also been a teacher and fashion designer. There is no cooler hero.
Government treatments have slowed her aging, augmented her immune system and enhanced her physical durability. Black Widow customarily wears two bracelets equipped to discharge the “widow’s bite,” high-frequency electrostatic bolts of up to 30,000 volts, capable of stunning even a superhuman opponent at a range of at least 20 feet, shoot tear gas cartridges and act as a radio transmitter. The bracelets’ various functions are activated by galvanic sensors keyed to Black Widow’s wrist musculature. At times she carries plastic explosive discs equivalent to 4 pounds of TNT in her belt and uses automatic weapons and/or combat knives as necessary. Her costume is composed of a Kevlar-like substance designed for maximum protective qualities, its fingers and feet lined with microscopic suction cups activated by an electrostatic charge, which allow her to adhere to any standard building material surface. Also, allowing her to look damn good.
If I’m going to magically become a superhero, I’m going to be Black Widow.
PLEASE CAN WE GET A MOVIE OR SHOW?
Until then I will have to settle for the latest Avengers movie and several comics. Thanks, Black Widow, for being our woman of May.