Our third installment of FEF will be about who or whom you will need to be a part of your ZA Dream Team. As I said last week, traveling alone during the ZA is a bad idea. You cannot survive all alone. That doesn’t mean you should just accept anyone into your group, though. There is a science to this stuff. Just who should you pick for your Dream Team? We’re going to lay out the types of people you’ll need along with our MVPs and LVPs. (I’m not sure if “Least Valuable Player” is a thing but I’m going with it).
First, you need a great leader. This person will be your moral compass, as well as your most valuable teammate. Your leader needs to be able to lead. They need to be able to assess, pinpoint, and outmaneuver any situation. The leader should be calm, level-headed, and quick-thinking.
MVP: Mel Gibson Braveheart Edition
Remember when he used to be the guy to watch? I would totally trust this guy in the ZA.
Granted he got shit done. I will give him that. But you DON’T want a dude that’s only looking out for himself and who would kill you if your eye twitched the wrong way.
Next, you will need someone who can fight, or, someone who is great at seeing the problem and finding a solution. A soldier. No matter how deadly the situation. This person should be proficient with weapons. I highly suggest you pick a person stable enough to trust.
MVP: Buffy Summers
No one is better at being a soldier than Buffy.
So many reasons. Mostly, though, because I hate her. She cannot be trusted.
Obviously there will be accidents and misfortune. If you’re in the ZA, it’s already unfortunate. It probably won’t get any better anytime soon. A person with medical training, preferably a doctor (or nurse) would be best to keep the group safe from infections and illnesses.
Why would you need a medical professional when you could have your BFF and part of the Heavenly Host heal you by touch?
LVP: Dana Scully
She doesn’t believe in zombies. You will not be able to persuade her otherwise. Deep denial is not what you want in a doctor. Especially during the ZA.
Chances are you will have a kid or two in your group. If you don’t, its likely you will one day because what else is there to do for fun in the ZA? Even if neither of these things occur in your situation, you WILL need someone to help with “motherly” duties.. i.e. cooking, laundry, packing, etc. This person will do the things your soldier does NOT want to do.
MVP: Ellen Harvelle
Ellen would be the PERFECT mom for the End Days. I have a feeling Ellen could probably cook a squirrel with some bark and make it taste like a five star restaurant. I’m also sure she’d do your laundry even though she might bitch about it. Plus, she can shoot and she’s a bad ass who isn’t scared of anything. On top of all of it though, Ellen would make you feel like the most important kid in the world and she’d stick by your side until the last second.
LVP: Carol Peletier
Carol tries to be a good human being. Unfortunately, though, she has fallen short in the nurture department. (Plus, the children she loves usually end up dead.)
Now, I’m sure zombies COULD be funny but more than likely you’re running too fast to see any of their stunts. You’re going to need someone to lighten the mood. You don’t want to just sit around the campfire sobbing about how awful life is. Having a comedian around wouldn’t hurt right?
MVP: Aziz Ansari
Aziz is hilarious. He’s also really smart. I feel like, after we survived a really terrible attack, he could find a way to bring the humor.
LVP: Karen Walker
I know, she is almost perfect. Except for the part where she is constantly drunk. Also, she’s used to being rich and getting her way. Besides that, though, she’s hilarious.
Lastly, we will need a Beiber, AKA the worst person in the ENTIRE world. The cannon fodder. The bait. You will need several of these, actually. When you’re in a pinch, you don’t want the leader being all bold and self-sacrificing. You want to be able to throw your Bieber to the walkers and move on. (Of course this category really only needs MVP’s because they will all be great at being eaten.)
MVP: All of These
Who would YOUR Dream Team be? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter @HTFGTweets!